Traveling with Toddlers
Minimize the hassle, maximize the fun!
by Lori Walsh Cawley


Denise and Brian had been looking forward to their first vacation since having kids. So, why did they return home early, cutting their vacation in half? Two reasons: Samanatha, age 4, and Ryan, age 2. The children’s spirits fell steadily as three days of torrential rain kept them confined to their hotel without their usual toys, television programs or nanny to comfort them. Unable to entertain the kids, the full-time working parents gave up and went home.

What would it take for you to scrap your vacation mid-trip? Before children, a death in the family or a work crisis would be cause to throw in the (beach) towel. But with kids, you can add illness, bad weather, injury and plain old incompatibility to that list.

With a little planning though, you can reduce and possibly avoid those threats to your vacation happiness. The key is to focus on logistics, accommodations and managing your own expectations. Children add a whole new dimension to the hassle, stress and challenges of travel. But with a pinch of pre-trip cynicism, gobs of patience and a heart full of hope, you’ve got a recipe for a successful trip.


Logistics: When Are We Going to Get There?

Before you go, explain to your children what they can expect. Tell them where you are going and why, how you are going to get there, how long it will take, where you are going to stay and what you are going to do once you get there. Help their imagination by using maps, tour books or pictures of the people you will see. Check your local library’s selection of travel videos.

Don’t overlook seemingly mundane items that can entertain your kids (escalators, water fountains, airplanes, animals). Surprise toys, snacks, silly songs and I Spy games can help pass the time. Did I mention that airplane barf bags make great puppets?


Are We There Yet?

If possible, don’t spend too much time traveling between destinations. We pushed the limit in terms of how long our children spent in the car one day, and for the next several days after that jaunt, our then 14-month-old cried every time she saw her car seat.

I do know one family (three kids all under age 6) that does the 13-hour plus drive from New Jersey to Chicago all in one sitting (minus required potty breaks). However, once they arrive, they do not get back in their car until it is time for their return trip. Personally, I couldn’t do it, but it seems to work for them. We’ve found that five to six hours a day is about as much as we can spend in the car and still be civilized to one another.
Also, be sure to consider the distance between your hotel’s location and your main destination. On a trip to London, we stayed in a hotel on the city’s fringe that required a daily 45-minute bus schlep into central London with two strollers and rain gear for everyone (yes, it rained six out of the seven days we were there). Why? We got a great deal on the room, which, it turned out, wasn’t such a great deal because of the commute to most of the places we wanted to visit.


About Accommodations

While few vacationers plan on spending much time in their hotel or hotel room (well, except for newlyweds), you will thank yourself for booking a room at a hotel that has some kind of child-appreciated diversion. It could be as simple as bunk beds. Indoor pools are great because you can enjoy them regardless of weather conditions.

Before you leave on your trip, find out about the children’s programs available at the place or places you plan to stay. During a month-long trip overseas, my husband and I encountered everything from well-equipped spacious on-site certified nanny staffed play areas to nothing— nada and zilch. Nope, not even a stray crayon was to be found in our Paris hotel, even though the company’s American chain is quite family-friendly. About those nanny-staffed nurseries, we recommend trying them out. Our kids were delighted to have toys to play with and we were delighted to actually have some time without them. Believe me, you will find out all too soon how long siblings can tolerate each other when confined to close quarters.

Speaking of tight quarters, keep in mind that you will all be living in much less space than you are used to. Of eight different hotel rooms that we stayed in on one marathon trip, only one approached the size of our bedroom at home. While it’s nice to get a small suite or connecting room, this is not always an option. So unless you are splurging on an extra room for the kids, you all might want to keep the same hours. Lights out for the kids means lights out for you too. Bring a flashlight for reading.


Gear Up for 24/7 With Your Kids

Before you go, sit down together at meals whenever possible. Remember that most of your meals will be at restaurants while you are traveling. Think about it— you can’t expect your kids to behave in a restaurant if you haven’t coached them through some sit-down dinners at home first.

Go out to eat with your kids so that they have a basic understanding of what is expected of them and what they can expect. Unless, of course, you and your spouse want to eat all of your meals in fast food joints or choose from the room service menu (expensive, but a godsend on occasion).

Introduce your children to a wide variety of foods. First of all, some places do not have a children’s menu. Second of all, you should avoid that nutritional no-man’s land anyway. You know what’s on those kiddy menus: chicken nuggets, fries, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, hot dogs. London, Minneapolis, New York City, Dublin, Los Angeles— it doesn’t matter where you are, that’s the menu. Instead, let the kids try what you’re having and augment your meal with an appetizer, soup and/or an extra side of veggies. Plus, you can use a kid’s meal for a special treat (bribery has its merits, especially when you are traveling).

Repeat after me: hungry children are cranky children. Physiologically, they need to eat more often than we do: their stomachs are smaller and can’t hold as much. Make sure you have some snacks with you. Take along leftovers: for example, a roll from breakfast or a piece of fruit. Cheerios look really good when you are sitting on a runway tarmac with no meal service in sight.


Managing Your Expectations: Sightseeing With Kids

Okay, with kids in tow you are not going to be able to delve into the wonders of the Italian Renaissance at your destination’s wonderful art museums. However, you don’t have to altogether skip it if you adjust your expectations.

Make a game out of it to get your kids involved. For example, we showed our 4-year-old pictures of several artifacts (in our handydandy tour guide) from London’s British Museum and told her we were going on a treasure hunt. Our 14-month-old got very excited when we would point out any painted, sculpted or even mummified animals. See if your preschooler can find something that starts with the letter a, b, c, etc.

Did I mention bribery? As in, “We’re going to visit fill-in-the-blank for Mommy and Daddy, and then we’ll go to the zoo. By talking with local parents, you can find out where the best places to take kids are. We were lucky enough to be seated by a friendly French family in a Paris bistro one night. Our kids had fun with their kids during dinner, and we found out about a great park. My oldest daughter now has a French e-mail pal.

Know when to call it a day, as in when your little tike discovers the fabulous echo qualities in the Louvre. We found that we could keep our kids fairly happy at a non-kid oriented attraction for a couple of hours. If there’s a special place where either you or your spouse want to spend a lot of time, see if the attraction offers a multi-day pass. If the appeal is strictly limited to one, split it up and explore separately.

Splitting up is also a good way to salvage a vacation when illness strikes. When a vomit-inducing viral infection stopped our 2-year-old in her tracks for days on end, at least we could take turns getting out with our older child. By that point, we were just happy to find a laundromat that could wash our clothes for us!


Patience and Cynicism

My last bit of advice: think like a cynic before you leave home. Assume the worst. Then give some thought to what you would do if junior gets sick or breaks a limb or hates some activity you planned.
And with proper clothes, bad weather can present opportunities for the family to take in sights or visit places that would normally require advance tickets or reservations. Be prepared to adapt.

Lori Walsh Cawley and her husband Roger have traveled extensively with their children for weeks and even months at a time. They have yet to return home early, but have visited emergency rooms, playgrounds and drugstores far from home.